She's gone. I saw her for but a brief moment today, but it was only that, brief. She cursed and called her only friend a retard, and vanished into thin air.
I came to realize something this evening that has made me appreciate what I have. I think I'm in a position to learn a whole heck of a lot. I battered and bruised myself this week to the point where I couldn't see straight. But when I presented the finished product to so many, I realized that what I saw was beyond the comprehension of the human eye. I see now that I'm my worst critic - only a stereotype.
I took this theatre course when I was a kid. We had to lay there with our eyes shut and listen to all of the sounds around us. I remember the sound of the other kids breathing all around me. And the sound of the outdoor noises like cars, and wind, and bugs and humming of things all around that you couldn't quite identify.
I was watching a TV programme the other night and a whole bunch of people I went to high school with were featured - people that I had documented crushes on. It was bizarre to think of how long ago that was.
I am happier now than I've ever been. I hope that this happy will extend throughout... throughout what I don't know, but I suppose throughout whatever becomes of whatever I become... does that make any sense?
xo K
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